Introduction - Start Here

Welcome to the blog of the Introverted Black Dude!

Guess you're either here as you were nosey (curious, we'll say curious) for more after skimming the 'about' page, or you literally just stumbled on this randomly. Either way, you're here and whether you read all or not, I welcome you with gratitude.

This article was intended to provide you with a bit of a breakdown of the purpose of this blog, and what to expect. However, over time, this has become a mix of things. I should have expected that as blogs - or written content in general - can often end up taking the creator in a completely new direction.

The Introverted Black Dude

This blog came to mind as a way to explore my love of style and image. But when I looked at buying the domain for a site, something made me think nah, this has to be about more than that. That's where the Introverted Black Dude came in, and well, I couldn't NOT talk about introversion.

I also love scent and cleaning, and started a blog in 2022 based around this. I ended up migrating some of those posts over here now.

A bit about me

I’m what you'd call socially awkward and PROUDLY introverted. Haven't always been that way though - as in proudly introverted. The awkward part, yes. I've never not been.

I'm a huge advocate for taking on rescue animals (I'm also pro-neutering, but not preachy about it. Listen, do you, but yes, mine are neutered/spayed), passionate about self-growth and have failed at lots of things in life. Many of these failures I kept fiercely secret at the time due to a very deep sense of shame. I now champion failing. Failure means different things to different people: I like to see it as you’re trying. And it forms part of the journey of success or growth.

Growing up, I spent a lot of time trying out different personalities. Wearing them, like I boldly wore some fashion pieces in my early 20’s (I went through a bow tie with braces phase. A BRIGHT red mohawk phase. An all-black-don’t-come-near-me phase. A super-skinny jeans phase which I pretend doesn't exist like. You get the picture). Despite this boldness, I couldn’t just be ME. I felt like I had to be someone else. Mainly I thought:

• I was too introverted

• I actually dared to love all kinds of music - so for me, that felt like I wasn’t “black enough”

• I had deep-rooted anger issues; the result of being a people pleaser and also from not dealing with childhood trauma

• I wasn’t this built-up stereotype people assumed me to be, based on my race and gender (and everyone loved to remind me of that too)

• I loved animals way more than people

• I have a dark, slightly morbid sense of humour and the jokes don't land on 75% of the people I speak to.

• I've never subscribed to the daily Toxic Masculinity newsletter.

Through experimenting more boldly with various styles to pouring myself into researching self-development and understanding the power of letting go, I found myself more comfortable in my skin. And I learnt to love my scars - both physical and emotional.

Learning to be more me

I also found that I saw the power in others that they didn’t see in themselves. It seriously hurt me to know that they weren’t okay with just being themselves. It’s probably why I also went into support roles (fitness instructor, housing officer, employment advisor to those with mental health issues…)

I wish someone could have said that to me when I was younger and gone: “Those things you hate about yourself, will become your armour and your ‘Fuck it’. Whether people embrace it or not is none of your business - but embracing it YOURSELF is your job”.

What this means for you, I guess.

Simply put, you also don’t have to be black, introverted or male to connect with me. Or find 'use' out of this blog. But if you are any of those things - you ain’t alone and there ain’t a goddamn thing wrong with your introverted, black self.