13 Ways to Know Your Introverted Self Better

Growing up in a world that can all too often celebrate the outwardly bold and outgoing, depending on where you are in the world, being an introvert can feel alien. This in turn can cause us to act out in ways that aren't akin to who we truly are. If you lack self-confidence in general, learning to appreciate who you are for all that you are can be intimidating. Yet having a relationship with yourself is one of the most important things you can do. It truly does blow my mind to know that so many avoid getting to know themselves on a deeper level. Granted, it's not always easy but the more work you do to know about yourself, the easier certain moral decisions in life are.

13 Ways to Know Your Introverted Self Better

1. Spend Time Alone With Yourself

Who are you when others aren't around? Much like being able to listen to your inner voice, being able to spend time with yourself is about blocking out the outside noises. As introverts, this is like having all the answers to a test. Easy! However, for so many people I meet, they struggle to be alone.

The feedback I get is that "It's boring being left alone". Learn to enjoy time with yourself. What do you like? What are you interested in? What are the gifts you offer the world? Who are you without the validation of others? Remember who you are as a solo artist and all the intricacies that make you, you.

2. Know Your Morals And Values:

Morals and values can be the driving force behind the decisions in your life. Do you know what you stand for? Or what principles you have? Understanding your values and morals also helps you define right from wrong, provides you with a sense of purpose, and contributes to the authenticity of who you are as a person.

3. Explore Your Passions

Passions are an important thing to have, embrace, and keep alive throughout your life. Some people can often forget their passions when they end up in relationships or bogged down with work. Passions help keep the spirit alive, the brain active and unleash a huge part of your personality.

4. Confront Your Deepest Fears:

Photo by Brian Lundquist

We all have them, no matter what people say. Whether it's a fear of speaking, being in group social situations, intimacy, or being seen naked. Avoiding our deepest fears can lead to problematic behaviours later on (like self-sabotaging), especially as fears have a way of bubbling to the surface without warning.

Confronting your deepest fears may not lead to vanquishing them completely, but they may help you to understand your barriers. This could go a long way to helping prevent relationship breakdown, emotional trauma, and withdrawal.

Facing your deepest fears can be a powerful, deeply spiritual experience. You don't need to be religious to feel this. Self-discovery comes from being brave enough to go to the places you would rather avoid.

5. Know What Your Strengths and Areas of Development are:

For the confidence-lacking among us, it's easy to head straight to the areas of development and self-criticise. Be able to hold yourself with kindness. It's important to be able to identify

your strengths: the areas you excel, the things you are good at, and the powerful attributes that are within you.

This is about what you think of yourself, not what others think of you. There should be an equal list of both. Areas of development aren't about beating yourself down either, but in understanding you are human. Everyone has areas of development.

Even the most successful people in the world utilise coaches, talking therapies, personal trainers, religion, etc. This is to try and be the highest version of themselves. A lot of people struggle at this task, either believing themselves to be without flaws or believing themselves to be flawed to a fault! If you've boxed yourself in, there's no room for growth.

6. Evaluate Your Relationships:

Examine the relationships in your life, whether these are personal or professional. They say that who you choose to spend your time with is also indicative of how you see yourself. What is the company you choose to keep like? What parts of your personality do these relationships align with?

Photo by The New York Public Library 

Over time, we change, as do those around us. Our boundaries, tolerance, values, and needs begin to differ. Over time, this can impact our relationships. There are some relationships that we have that are based on choice and who you choose to spend your energy and time on is important.

7. Understand Your Ambitions and Personal Goals:

We all have goals, whether big or small, but the very topic can also be a source of discomfort. Some of us want nothing more than to be a parent. Others strive for financial success in a dream job. Some ambitions and goals are hidden, out of fear of letting other people down.

Not everyone feels like they know what they want. Challenge yourself to have goals. Remember, they're personal to you. Your goals and ambitions don't have to mirror those of your parents or social circle. Goals and ambitions can also be simply defined as knowing what direction you want to take or having a purpose. Do you want to live a life by the beach, with little stress and nothing but the simple things in life to keep you happy? Well, how do you attain that?

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER

What steps do you need to take? For some, it takes time to know what they want in life, both in the short and long term. Sometimes, it takes negative experiences to make you realise what you don't want, and this can also set the path for a clear, identifiable goal or vision. Some believe it's best to remain in the present, as nothing is promised. Even so, living for the now is a goal.

Whatever your ambitions and goals, remember that these can change over time and what was for you once, may not be in the future. Being able to see how these change along with your values provides room for growth and reflection.

8. Be Open To Feedback:

Listening to your voice is important, but so is constructive feedback from those around you. As we are driven by ego, it can be easy to have a flawed view of ourselves. We may not recognise certain strengths or areas of development we have.

Given the current climate's propensity for self-development, being able to look outside yourself is crucial. For those of us who are susceptible to being defensive, this will be hard. However, it can also be the start of learning to take feedback on with an open mind.

Learn to embrace different perspectives. You might not always agree with it, but you can learn from it and it may show you sides of yourself you didn't know.

9. Self-Reflection

It's good to talk, but that also means with yourself. By 'talk', I mean being able to listen to your inner voice and have honest conversations with yourself.

Set aside time to meditate, walk, write diary entries, sit in stillness or draw. These are the moments to let uninterrupted feeling flow, without judgement or a comeback from another person.

It's also a chance to study your own behaviours. If there are aspects of your behaviours you would like to change, being able to self-reflect is a necessity.

10. Embrace Vulnerability

Going deep within yourself, to the vulnerable places is hard. I never know why people take it to be a place of weakness. Even alone, we can put up walls to protect ourselves from hurt, shame, guilt and sadness.

Embracing vulnerability can be as traumatic as it is therapeutic, so I always recommend going as far as you feel able. Give yourself time away from others to promote healing, self-acceptance, and the ability to let the emotional rawness within you breathe.

11. Personality Tests

While they don't have to be taken as gospel, there are various personality tests you can take to understand your individual, introverted quirks. Some are free, but for a more in-depth look, there are the paid versions.

There are notable ones like the Myers & Briggs and Big 5 personality tests. Please note, that some are open to criticism and many things claim to help, but may not be beneficial. A free test/starting point that is often used is 16personalities.

12. Talking Therapies / Spiritual Practices

Some people benefit from external support, such as therapy/counselling, etc. However, therapy can also come via online resources/tools, life-coaching, or through spiritual practices such as praying, deep meditation, retreats, and tarot card reading.

Therapy can be utilised for confidence building, or simply being able to talk about external stressors that you might not get to discuss in everyday life. Likewise, spiritual practices aren't always adopted by people who identify with organised religion. Either practice can help provide external support in

creating balance and harmony within ourselves.

13. Bare Naked You

Vulnerability is often seen as a metaphorical way of stripping someone to their core, naked form. But here, we mean the physical sense. Nudity is often something saved for intimacy or the privacy of your own home. There are nude beaches for the more liberated of us.

However, nudity even within the confines of a private space can also be a source of shame, confusion, and embarrassment. Not everyone is able or willing enough to stand in front of a mirror completely naked. There may be parts of our naked body that we do not love and because of that, we run from it. Bodies change throughout life, be this injury, age, weight loss/gain, puberty, etc.

Photos by Danie Franco / Jakayla Toney  / Jesús Boscán  

For some people, this is a no-go area. Body shaming is rife in the world, without us doing it to ourselves. Learning to love the parts of yourself you may not like is huge. It doesn't mean you lack the ability to change them, but learning to be objective about things is different to being self-loathing.

To be able to have a relationship with yourself is to also be able to have a relationship with your body in its most vulnerable form.

This includes understanding its pleasure points. There will be good days and bad days, but if you can be body-confident naked, it goes a long way

Conclusion:

Knowing yourself can take time and is a continued life practice. We discover parts we didn't know about ourselves through times of grief, loss, love, the birth of our children, and trials and tribulations. Getting to know yourself can be scary, but it's also a liberating, worthwhile experience.

It's not an easy, or straightforward journey but committing to a practice of regular check-ins with yourself helps make it less intimidating. Confidence comes in all forms, but there is an unrivaled power in being able to say "I know who I am".